Saturday, August 30, 2008

The rain in Sweden...

Update: David has gotten more awkward, and unfortunately I have had to see him three times again already, and especially unfortunately more him, the phone he gave me is no good so the road to redeeming himself might be a long one for him. 

Update: Still no uncontrollable crying! I got all welled up from a frustrating course of events yesterday, but took a walk, came back, had something overly positive happen to me, and was back to normal. That has been the pattern here...it's been down down down then up up up every day it seems, getting less extreme every day. Most often, the down down down comes from a combination of frustrations topped off with one tiny annoyance to push it over the edge. An example of an ongoing frustration: This school is beautiful. The campus is so easy to navigate, all the rooms are state-of-the art. They are fully wireless. It's great. But I constantly get the feeling that, despite all their redeeming qualities, Mid Sweden University is utterly shocked that there are exchange students here. Every meeting has been somewhat sloppy, the directors rarely have enough copies for all of us, none of them has given me a straight answer about when I can actually register as a student, etc. Example: There weren't enough computers for all of us to use to get logged in to the student portal. Another example: This is an actual conversation that occurred in front of the whole class yesterday:

"I will be teaching your Swedish language course here, and also at Campus Harnosand, a few hundred kilometers south of here. This is the book you will need to get for this class. It is impossible to pass without it: "........" "
"Where can we buy that book?"
"I don't know...I'm not from here."

That's where I just put my head down. College in Europe, I have learned, blows America's definition of "independent" out of the water. Students rely more on each other than the professors, it turns out. I think I will like it this way eventually, but yesterday, it was just a weight that was bearing on me so much I felt like I couldn't walk upright.

So back to the down down down. In between sessions, I hurried over to the phone store to activate the phone David had given me. A combination of only getting five hours of sleep the night before (a bunch of us from the exchange program went to the most frequented student pub in town...it was fun!...but sooo expensive.) and of feeling like a completely neglected exchange student already had me irritable. I walked into the store, and in my entire ten minutes of waiting in line, this other woman in line did not stop staring at me. At the time, I was still toting around this unrelenting paranoia that everyone here automatically hates all Americans, so this staring really really bothered me. (Side note: This morning I promised myself I would let the paranoia go. Yes I'm outgoing and have a big smile with a personality to match. So do people who aren't Americans.) Anyway, I waited and waited, just standing there, the store got more and more crowded, and then the cashiers called out the next number. The next number. I hadn't grabbed a number. I looked directly into the hand of the woman who had beens taring at me the whole time, and she had a number. She knew! She knew I was waiting and that I hadn't grabbed a number, and she didn't tell me! I was so pissed off I grabbed a number and walked out, tears welling up in my eyes. There was my down down down.

After walking around for twenty minutes or so, cooling off, I returned to the store to find that it was my turn. (AND the lady had thankfully left.) Nice. I presented my phone to the Karl phone guy (with the FREE sim card given to me by the school! Guess they didn't completely forget about us...!), and it was a dud. Not nice. But Karl and I had sort of discussed where I was from and what I was doing here and where the phone came from, so he must have felt comfortable enough to just offer me his old one! Very nice! I just had to come back the next day (today) and get it from him...for free! I left feeling much lighter and refreshed. And...the up up up :) 

Alright I didn't intend to spend that much time on that story, but the library's closing soon so I gotta wrap this up. I think I actually took my time on that one, though, because like I said that has sort of been my life here so far. Crappiness has been washed away by outstanding kindness every time. And now it doesn't even take kindness to wash it away...I saw an amazing view of the mountains yesterday once...GASP...the RAIN STOPPED! And I felt like a million bucks.

Alright...sorry so inconclusive! More later! Miss you all!

kt

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

ADDRESS

And duh, here's my address:

Katie Mraz
Odenslingan 43
831 46 Ostersund

:)

kt

I MADE IT!

Alright. Can it BE more cliche that it's uncharacteristically rainy and dreary the day I arrive scared and confused and travel-weary in a strange country that actually has very little of my native language posted? (If Amy and Megan are reading this, yes I am Chandler. :)) Seriously it is sopping wet. I actually took a break between sessions today to go buy jeans (skinny jeans that rock! woohoo!) which I immediately proceeded to change into! I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm confused, I'm excited, I'm all over the place. Let's go back a day.

Note: When you're traveling to another country, try your best to not book 24 hours of straight travel if you can avoid it. I could not avoid it, but I certainly wish I could have. After about hour 20 you realize that you're wearing the same clothes you put on that...morning?...and that you slept in that...afternoon? You realize that you should probably brush your teeth, even though it really doesn't feel like the right time for it. You find yourself resenting the person in the seat next to you for merely existing, because stretching out onto both seats would be all you'd need for some solid rest. You debate between getting another $5 latte in the airport or taking the one-hour nap time available during your layover in Amsterdam. (I opted for the latte...and it was $7...darn US dollar.) This was my itinerary: MPLS-O'Hare (1hr), O'Hare to Amsterdam (6.5 hrs, biggest plane in the world...TWO FLOORS!...made my first friend in a 21-year-old girl studying abroad in Austria), Amsterdam to Stockholm (2 hrs, slept until landing, the country is very green and lake-y like Minnesota!), then the cleanest and smoothest train in the world from Stockholm to Ostersund (5 hrs). I have no idea how much I slept, probably a collective six hours or so, but I can tell you that any sleep was entirely the work of this surprisingly warm and comfortable sweater my mom picked me up on a whim before I left, and Penguin, the big ugly penguin Anna Peterson gave me that I can't seem to fall asleep without. Sweater for blanket, Penguin for a pillow with capabilities comparable to one TMNT I know, which is saying a lot! Kudos to the both of you! :)

But yes, at long last, I stepped off the train in Ostersund. I hadn't more than ten seconds of fear of being forgotten before some strange man scooped up my second piece of luggage, introducing himself as Fidelis, a fellow student. We congregated with two other people from Mid-Sweden who help out with the International Exchange: Daniel, the friendly and helpful program director, and David, a skinny dorky awkward kid that we'll learn more about in a moment. Two girls who I had a somewhat embarrassing moment with on the train then joined us, completing the group. These two (Darcy? and Candace) are from Canada, and I did everything but turn around and hug them when I heard them first speaking fluent English on the train. I had so many questions, and until I got to the train station in Stockholm everything had been in both English and in Swedish (or Dutch, etc.). Since then, Swedish was the only language on signs and the only language that was spoken over the loudspeaker. The only phrase I really rock at right now is "Tahlar du engelska?" (Do you speak english?), and I was sick of using it by the time I got to the train, so hearing English again was much sweeter than you can probably imagine as you're reading this. In our conversation addressing the questions I had (just some train logistics), I hadn't thought to ask them what their travel plans were. I was pleased to find that we were going to the same place...they look like fun. 

So. David. Dorky, awkward David. David had the unfortunate luck of stepping into my life at one of my most tired, curious, emotional, anxious, and frustrated moments to date. Unsurprisingly, he bothers me, and I do not really look forward to being around him much more for International Student Orientation Week. If you are given the task of picking up a scared and confused American student who doesn't know a thing about your hometown or school, you darn sure better be willing to offer some information and give her some straight answers. Silly little man. Some of my important questions like, How do I get to campus?, and Where can I buy food?, and Who do I talk to to get a freakin shower curtain?? were met with answers that were vague at best. And he kept doing this wimpy cough every time we'd load and unload my stuff to remind me that he's sick, that's why he can't help. He just wasn't very much help I guess is how I can put it. It just would have been nice to get here and find all my worries and doubts not necessarily swept away, but at least anticipated. He acted in a way that would not suggest he has ever helped out an exchange student. But he does have an old phone he said I could have, so I think there's a possibility for him to redeem himself. Stay tuned. :)

But yes. I'm here. I'm confused and lost most of the time, but not entirely afraid of asking questions to strangers, so I'm fine. There is a current exchange student at Coe by the name of Kristofer Eriksson (all you Coe people, you really have to meet this dude...he's sweet!), who described this culture to me. He said that they are all as nice as Americans but less outwardly friendly, if that makes sense. That's a perfect way to describe what I've come across. There aren't a lot of outward greetings, and there isn't a lot of eye contact with strangers, but most of the people I've met have been more than willing to help. The best warm fuzzy of the week so far gets awarded to this rockin girl I met at the Tourist Information center (they're everywhere in Sweden). I went there between sessions today (I had two meetings at the University) looking for guidance on some necessities I had to pick up. As I went down the list, we had a laugh when I added, "and, an umbrella" as I wiped my soaking wet bangs out of my eyes for the third time. She chuckled and said, "I think I have one here for you," and pulled out a bright yellow umbrella from the back room. Putting it with the postcards and stamps I was planning to buy, I asked how much it all was. She replied, "Oh no, the umbrella's free. It's my spare." I'm not sure when my smile came off my face as I carried on my merry way! It was refreshing to meet such a kind and generous person. I think that for the most part, people are all the same almost anywhere you go: some people take their time and thus are available to be patient with lost foreigners; some people are on missions when they're out and about and prefer to not be interrupted by lost people with naive questions; some people have a chip on their shoulder about the culture of the person asking the questions so no matter what they don't want to help; some people just don't have enough knowledge to give the answers; some people do, but don't know how to conquer the language barrier, etc. Humans aren't all that different wherever you go. I know that I've already come across each of those types of people. After a day of being a foreigner, though, I do anticipate my patience and willingness to help will be a little more generous the next time I come across a confused person. :)

It's strange how little I've actually spoken in the last few days, though. It's so lucky for me that most Swedes at least know a little English, so getting through the logistics hasn't been too tough, but I haven't had a meaningful conversation yet. And I just don't have the energy now to go explore the "Camping" and stop in on the students I met today. In a nutshell, the Camping is where a good number of us exchange students are living, along with a whole myriad of other Swedish people. Is is not owned by the University. Part of the Camping is a trailer park, part of it has nice two-bedroom apartments, part of it is full of one-room shacks that look to me like ideal locations for bonfire/grill out shindigs, and then part of it is one-person housing like mine. I have a main room with a bed, a kitchen table, a stove/oven, a fridge/freezer, a kitchen sink, a small dresser, a bookshelf, and a desk. All the furniture is this nice cedar wood and the place is really tidy. Then I have a bathroom (sans shower curtain!...I'll have to get one) with a convenient medicine cabinet, and a little closet in the front entry. In my exasperated mood last night, it was truly catastrophic to me that the main room (again, where I eat/sleep/do everything) didn't have curtains either. I felt so exposed and all I really wanted to do was kick David out and cry a little! In PRIVACY! But I collected myself, kicked David out, and used my bed sheets for temporary stand-ins until I can get some legitimate curtains. Once assembled, I got a few tears in before and during my settling in time, but I can proudly say no uncontrollable bawling has been elicited yet. Also, stay tuned. :) The word frustrating will just be used quite a bit I think. Like, I planned ahead and brought the European power converters to use my electronics, but it's frustrating that the Swedish have their own personal circle feature that makes it impossible for you to use other European converters, so I had to buy more. And it's frustrating that I can't get a straight answer on where to buy a bike, even from cyclists I've stopped in the streets. And it's frustrating that I can't register for classes yet because we have to figure out what the heck Coe means by one credit. And it's frustrating that I'm writing this in the public library and not in my own flat, because it takes about a week for Internet to arrive there. Etc. etc. etc. But like I anticipated with many of you, it's feeling my way through the world with mittens on my hands. But also, as Betsy insightfully points out, I DO have opposable thumbs that have helped me out. :) I know I have professors and contacts that are looking out for me here, I know I can figure my stuff out on my own if I just process it, I know that people are, for the most part, good, and will help out a fellow human being in need. So I'm golden. This time alone has been nice so far, and I think once I've gotten all that I need to feel comfortable, I'll be able to think again about meeting people and making sweet friends. The program seems designed to have us venture out on our own like this for a bit anyway. And it's so so so beautiful here...even through this crappy weather I can see that. The lake is right along our campus and the way from my apartment to town, the buildings are old-looking and covered in ivy, there are cobblestones everywhere; it's really going to be fun exploring here. :)

Well, I think that chapter one of my novel can come to a close now. My plan for the night is to hit up a place to eat and read a little (Schmelzer if you're reading this I love the Alexandria Link!), THEN go grocery shopping (hunger and grocery shopping is always a bad idea), then hit the hay. I'm really tired from traveling still. I hope to continue to get all settled in tomorrow and maybe try to track down a bike! I miss you all and I hope everything is great with you!

kt

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Welcome to my Sweden blog!

Well hello there! This is my very first post on my very first blog of my life. How fun! Okay, well, this is going to be the forum where all my crazy adventures in Europe will be documented. Comments are welcomed and appreciated. Enjoy!