It sounds different.

Since I first arrived here in August, I have adjusted to many dimensions of life in Östersund. I bike to get around, all liquor is sold in one location, buying coffee at coffeeshops is laughably expensive, I expose the foreigner in me every time I impulsively smile at people I make eye contact with, there exists a cheese spread in literally every flavor, etc. etc. etc. It took some getting used to, but as I've mentioned before, I feel comfortably settled in here.

One ongoing interaction that continues me through a loop, however, is answering the question, "So where are you from, then?" From day one, hearing the words, "United States" come out of my own mouth has immediately led to my scrutinizing of my new friend's face for any indication of judgment. For lack of a less inappropriate simile, it's like dropping a bomb. I'm never certain what people, namely Europeans, immediately judge about me when they hear that I'm from the States, based on what they know or what they think they know about our country. Overwhelmingly here I have heard that it's not the States that has a bad reputation, it's Bush (he really is not the most favored individual on a global scale...), but I still can't help but assume that I'm simply associated with the whole country who gave him his second term when I say I'm an American. And it has always been tough too because I wasn't all that patriotic to begin with. Like I've mentioned before, I consider my values, my heart, to be a product of my Midwestern upbringing before I'd attribute it to growing up in the States. And so when I'm engaged in open discussions about the States and its reputation, I find myself only able to represent where I come from and what I know, and utterly fail at defending the entire country as a whole. Because I never felt connected to the entire country. Because I never truly felt the idea of being an American pulse through my veins.

Until Wednesday morning at around 4am. Since Wednesday morning at 4am, I have been reborn as an American from the Midwest. I feel like I DO come from a country I belong to; a country that represents MY hopes and MY dreams and MY outlooks on the world. MY COUNTRY voted Barack Obama to be its president. MY COUNTRY took a long, hard look at itself and said we can do better. MY COUNTRY is ready to BE THE CHANGE IT WISHES TO SEE IN THE WORLD. And maybe I'm all jacked here because Europe is nearly 100% behind our decision too, but clearly I'm thrilled at what I saw late late Tuesday night. This was a GLOBAL decision that was made by one of the most powerful countries in the world...you guys don't realize how much all eyes were truly on America that night. Half the exchange program told me the following day that they, too, were up late watching the results pour in. They, too, knew the implications of this decision. They, too, were ready to see America do the RIGHT THING after who can say how many years of mistakes. 

A bunch of us went out to Soup Night and then a bar last night, and I met a handful of new people. Hearing, "The United States" come out of my mouth as the answer to where my home is didn't sound the same...it was something I actually wanted to brag about, something I wanted to tell everyone. The feeling that I was being wrongfully judged had melted away; I'm happy to be judged by my country now. I finally know what it's like to feel country pride. 

The States still has a lot to figure out, and life doesn't suddenly become a walk in the park just because Bush is outta there. Obviously. I'm just thrilled to see that we've hopped on an express train to Global Forgiveness and will most likely be able to make headway in the next (keep your fingers crossed!!) eight years. 

I love you all and I'm really looking forward to seeing you all again in less than two months!!

kt